Hi, Happy New Year and thank you for this feedback opportunity!
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m the CEO & Co-Founder of Birth Center Equity. We are a team of birth center founders, owners, midwives, business and public health strategists who invest in Black, Indigenous, people of color-led birth centers to increase access to midwifery care and improve maternal-infant health in our communities. Would love to learn more about you!
So happy to see you here, Leseliey! This is so excellent. If it's possible, I would maybe condense the list of who is on your team. (ex. Since "birth center" is in here 3x, something like, "birth experts, entrepreneurs, and business and public health strategists"?)
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m the CEO & Co-Founder of Birth Center Equity. We are a team birth experts, entrepreneurs, and business and public health strategists who invest in Black, Indigenous, people of color-led birth centers to increase access to midwifery care and improve maternal-infant health in our communities. Would love to learn more about you!
@Vanessa, I’m also wondering if I could have some feedback on the one I wrote for myself as a writer? Sharing it below. I’m wondering how best to say who I’ve been coached by (below I put “worked with”) and also if you think my goal should be a combined elevator pitch - or do I keep two separate ones for different networks?
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m a dreamer, poet and writer who has worked with adrienne maree brown, Autumn Brown and Lisa Weinert. I speak and write the unspoken to inspire us all to embody the freedom and courage necessary to create the futures we dream of. Would love to learn more about you!
This is beautiful! "The unspoken," wow. I think you could have a combined one for the audience who you'd want to prioritize your organization work for. It adds something more about YOU and your passions which I love. Maybe something like:
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m the CEO & Co-Founder of Birth Center Equity. We are a team birth experts, entrepreneurs, and business and public health strategists who invest in Black, Indigenous, people of color-led birth centers to increase access to midwifery care and improve maternal-infant health in our communities. I’m also poet and writer who has worked with adrienne maree brown, Autumn Brown and Lisa Weinert. Would love to learn more about you!
And I would get more specific in this version if your audience is an editor or similar gatekeeper where you want to focus on your writing:
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m an entrepreneur, poet, and writer who has worked with adrienne maree brown, Autumn Brown and Lisa Weinert on [name specific issue(s) you write about? birthing, motherhood, etc.]. I speak and write the unspoken to inspire us all to embody the freedom and courage necessary to create the futures we dream of.
Gulp….love the assignment, taking the leap to share my draft. Eager for input! 🙏
Two attempts….
Hello! My name is Abby Falik and I’m the Co-founder/CEO of The Flight School. We help emerging leaders break free from conventional paths to discover where their authentic gifts align with the world’s greatest needs.
Hello! My name is Abby Falik and I’m a founder creating new models to unlock human potential and flourishing. Through my ventures, writing and speaking, I help people move from doing what’s expected to doing what matters – for themselves, and the future we know is possible.
Love it, Abby! I would consider changing the term "emerging leaders" (more appropriate on a website than in an email exchange!) to something with more specificity -- high school graduates? Young adults? And is there a way to add a little more specificity to the second part of the sentence too, "ex. ..break free from conventional academic and career paths"?
I would ask for more specificity in the second version too - it's beautifully written but seems vague. New models in what, exactly? Who are the people you help? Could you name some institutions you work with?
Hi Abby! I've been following you on LinkedIn for a while and love what you have to share. You're so impressive-- don't be afraid to toot your own horn a bit more!
Hello! My name is Tulika Verma and I’m a nonprofit leadership consultant who has worked with Teach For India in a senior leadership role and in a consulting capacity with Navgurukul, The Circle, Foster and Forge Foundation. I consult on leadership development, organization design, program design, community building and organizational strategy so that nonprofits can create sustained, meaningful impact in a values-driven, people-first way. Would love to learn more about you!
Love it, Tulika. I certainly have more questions for you, which is the whole point! I would do a scan for jargon here -- senior leadership, consulting capacity, organizational design etc. Are there more direct, concrete ways to say any of these things - eg. "I help organizations figure out how to get their staff collaborating joyfully and efficiently so they can make the biggest impact on education possible." I also wonder about the use of "values-driven"--it strikes me as meaning everything and nothing. What do you think?
Thank you for doing this! Here is my first attempt:
"Hello! My name is Krista and I’m an artist and designer who specializes in creating vintage-inspired hand painted floral art, accessories, and textile designs. I translate the colors and forms found in nature into vibrant, eye-catching paintings to inspire joy. One of my favorite parts of painting flowers is helping others capture special memories through my bespoke paintings of meaningful blooms like wedding bouquets, anniversary flowers, and birth month flowers. I would love to hear about you!"
I love this, Krista! Concise and so clear. Are there any names you could mention in this, whether it be a special collection you created or a gallery you were featured in? I would also change "others" to "clients" or another more specific word to signal more clearly that you create custom paintings for customers.
Hello! My name is Kris Farren Moss and I'm the author of Your Guide to Ritual Design: Redefine Your Day, Transform Your Life. Through my writing and coaching, I help people harness the transformative power of ritual to create more meaningful, purposeful lives. Drawing on both ancient wisdom and modern behavioral science, I guide others in designing a personal ritual practice that brings structure, intention, and deep connection to their everyday experiences. I'd love to learn more about you!
Wow, Kris, your work sounds so fascinating! This looks great. I would maybe cut "transformative" since "transform" is in your book title and it will make the sentence seem a little less formal. (Since it's an email intro and not an official bio, if that makes sense.)
Hi, I’m Amy Halloran, writer and baker. I’m curious how food connects us, and how the past impacts our choices. My book The New Bread Basket profiled people working with grains, and I’m working on a book about the twinned histories of modern American bread and women, both of which came of age in the early twentieth century.
Hello! I’m Ashlea Sommer and I’m a strategist and facilitator who has worked with Starbucks, Mars-Wrigley, and lululemon. I support leaders and teams to navigate complex decisions together so that they feel more purpose in their work and make more considered choices for their stakeholders.
Ashlea, this is great -- so clear and concise. Although I wonder if you have a word you could add / share what kind of strategist/facilitator you are from the outset? The second sentence shares the kind of work you do, but I think a more specific title would draw people in sooner. You could even create/use a nonconventional title. (I could call myself a storytelling strategist instead of a communications strategist, for example.)
Hello! My name is Ashlea Sommer and I’m a purpose-led corporate strategist and executive facilitator who has worked with Starbucks, lululemon, and Mars-Wrigley. I support leaders and teams to navigate complex challenges together so that they make decisions beyond profit, and consider all of their stakeholders. Tell me about you!
Hi Courtney and Vanessa! Thank you for this challenge, it's so good to do this - but scary too.
Hello! My name is Kerrin and I am a Sustainability Specialist that works with NYC public schools and families to bring sustainability programs and composting to their everyday life. I focus on aligning values with everyday habits – so that climate actions are aligned with daily habits. Tell me about you!
I love this pitch, Kerrin! So direct and love this: "aligning values with everyday habits." Makes me want to know more. Although I wonder if the first "everyday" mention could be a different word (to avoid repetition). Same for the "daily habits" note at the end. Maybe something like:
Hello! My name is Kerrin and I am a Sustainability Specialist that works with NYC public schools and families to bring sustainability programs and composting into their daily lives. I focus on aligning values with everyday habits – turning climate actions into meaningful routines. Tell me about you!
Hi there! I’m Annie Sanchez and I’m an advisor and unconventional coach who helps leaders, entrepreneurs and philanthropists solve problems in their lives and businesses. I work with highly sensitive, introverted and often underestimated people so that the kids in our lives will have models for what gentle, powerful leadership can be. I would love to talk and learn about you!
As an introvert this is so refreshing to read!! So clear and concise, it's great and I really want to know more. I wonder if there's something specific you could add to "solve problems" - considering the uniqueness of your clientele, is there a word or two of the kinds of problems that you help with them? Or too broad to specify?
Hi there! I’m Annie Sanchez and I’m an advisor and unconventional coach who helps leaders, entrepreneurs and philanthropists solve complex problems in their lives and businesses. I work with highly sensitive, introverted and often underestimated people so that the kids in our lives will have models for what gentle, powerful leadership can be. I would love to talk and learn about you!
Thanks Vanessa, I appreciate that a lot. It’s hard to get specific and stay concise. I literally help people with everything from career changes to business development to grief and relationship issues. I’ve been told “Everyone needs an Annie in their life,” and have struggled to communicate what this means. 🙃
Hello! My name is Rachel Hills and I’m the president of Protagonistic, a feminist strategic communications agency. We work with nonprofits, culture makers, and businesses to help them sharpen their storytelling and amplify their work so that they can change the public conversation on the issues they work on. Would love to learn more about you!
Hi Rachel! Fun to see you here! I love this. I wonder about offering one concrete example - otherwise we're in jargon territory here. I want a picture in my head! What's one org you've worked with one one "amplification" (jargon!) that you are really proud of?
"We've run award-winning social media campaigns for nonprofits, worked with women's rights leaders in Ukraine to share their stories in Foreign Policy, and helped independent filmmakers get interviewed on major podcasts."
The other thing I struggle with a lot - and I know that this is true of your work, too - is containing and communicating my multiplicities. Generally, these days, if I'm doing a quick self-intro in a personal or professional setting, I will focus on my agency work, and limit discussion of my writing and intellectual work to conversations with writers and media people. But obviously my media and intellectual experience is a big part of why my clients trust me, which is why I bring it up in my longer bio and client pitches.
Happy New Year, everyone, and thanks for this experience! Happy to be here. Here's my pitch: Hello! I'm Sarah Menkedick, and I'm a writer who has published two books about motherhood and written for Harper's, The New York Times, the Washington Post, the Guardian, Time, and many other publications. I am an Ohioan married to a Mexican, raising a Mexican American daughter between Pittsburgh and Oaxaca. My experiences living and traveling overseas for more than a decade have profoundly shaped my perspective on American life. I write about issues that may seem familiar – birth, education, immigration – from surprising international angles, examining how our deeply held beliefs and givens can perpetuate damaging systems, and how we might begin to imagine new ways of living. Would love to learn more about you! (I realize this is still unwieldy and wordy!!)
I love that you've incorporated your personal experience into this! I agree it could be shortened and would actually consider incorporating more of that personal language into your bio (today's assignment, stay tuned!) and website. Maybe for the pitch, something a bit shorter like:
Hello! I'm Sarah Menkedick, and I'm a writer who has published two books about motherhood and written for Harper's, The New York Times, the Washington Post, and many others. I write about issues that may seem familiar – birth, education, immigration – from surprising international angles, and drawing from my own personal experiences and travel. I love to examine how our deeply held beliefs can perpetuate damaging systems, and how we might begin to imagine new ways of living. Would love to learn more about you!
My name is Ginny Fahs and I’m the Director of Product R&D at Consumer Reports. CR is an independent non-profit known for testing and rating thousands of products, so that people can make informed choices about what to buy. The team I lead is charged with using the latest technologies to enhance CR’s mission, so that our 90-year-old organization keeps pace with a rapidly-evolving, tech-enabled marketplace. We’ve conceived, developed and launched an AI-powered chatbot called AskCR and a data privacy app called Permission Slip, as well as a panoply of R&D prototypes related to agentic AI and data privacy.
I'm interested in how to strike the right balance between mission/aspiration and concreteness.
The organization I work for has a big consumer protection mission: "fighting for fairness in the marketplace"
However I think that mission language is vague for most people. I tried to make it more concrete here, but in doing so I flattened a lot of what we do (so much more than product ratings & reviews!).
I worry that by making our work as a whole more concrete, other details that I mention here (eg our extensive data privacy work) seem random?
Curious to hear how others thought about // navigated this
I love knowing more about your aim here, Ginny. My first impression is "Wow, you are doing such cool things and I know exactly what kind of resource your organization is..." but I'm not sure what YOUR superpower is. What do you love about this work? Why does it hit your sweet spot? I would be hungry to know even a tad more about YOU, Ginny, in the midst of this amazing work.
Appreciate this feedback, thank you Courtney! Here's a revised version:
Hello! My name is Ginny Fahs and I’m the Director of Product R&D at Consumer Reports. CR is an independent non-profit known for testing and rating thousands of products. The team I lead is charged with using the latest technologies to enhance CR’s mission of informed choice, so that our 90-year-old organization keeps pace with a rapidly-evolving, tech-enabled marketplace. I love bringing new things to life that challenge power imbalances and restore power to the underdog. At CR, I’ve conceived, developed and launched a data privacy app called Permission Slip that helps people control the data companies have about them, and a chatbot called AskCR that answers questions people have about products using only CR’s trusted information.
Hello! My name is Valerie and I am a children's book author/illustrator striving to tell stories that resonate with laughter, wonder, and imagination. Just as every child has a unique story, my illustrations reflect the diverse experiences we all share. I Would love to learn more about you!
Grr forgot to post. Thank so much for inviting us to do this.
Hello! My name is Priscilla Martel and I am a chef and food consultant who writes the best-selling textbooks, On Cooking and On Baking for Pearson. I help businesses such as Emile Henry, Tuscan Women Cook and the Almond Board of California, brand agencies and home cooks tell engaging stories through food and recipes. I help others become bold and curious in the kitchen to build confidence and enrich their lives.
Is this intriguing? Do you think I'm simply a recipe developer? Because I am that and much more, too complex to convey in a small bite. Perhaps I should end with a question?
Totally intriguing!! It seems clear to me you're so much more than a recipe developer. Although I wonder if your initial title (chef and food consultant) doesn't reflect the full breadth of your work communicated in the following sentences. Could you think of a term that might draw people in more? (Food storyteller or something with a bit more flair?) Love the name dropping too, but I would make that list just 3 examples. And the last sentence (while beautiful!) could be tweaked (you said, "I help" twice) or integrate it into another sentence. Hope this helps!
Thanks so much. A term to draw people in with is excellent advice. I like food storyteller but I actually have a term I've used, which may be a bit slick but I'll use it for now if only as a placeholder. Reading the contributions and your comments inspires me but also makes the task more daunting. I'd like to add something personal here but then it's a mouthful. (I remember the frozen look on a couple of women on whom I once tested an elevator speech.)
Hello! My name is Priscilla Martel. I am a flavor maven who inspires others to become bold and curious in the kitchen. I collaborate with California Almonds, Tuscan Women Cook and other businesses to tell engaging stories through food and recipes. I love my role as culinary mentor to students who use On Cooking and On Baking, the textbooks that I write for Pearson.
I'm so grateful for this space to practice! Here goes: Hello! I’m Jess Solomon, and I’m an organizational development practitioner partnering with progressive, forward-thinking cultural and philanthropic organizations. I design and facilitate offsite experiences and high-stakes meetings, and coach changemakers to engage in deep, creative, and strategic work while building relationships and culture. By harnessing imagination, I help groups bring new practices, structures and systems into being. I’d love to learn more about you!
Your work sounds fantastic! I really started to lean in at "design off site experiences and high stake meetings" - it's specific and interesting and makes me want to know more.
My only feedback is that it language is a little formal. Remember, this would be in an email or even at a work event. Maybe condense a bit? I also think name dropping one or two of orgs you've worked with would be great. Maybe something like:
Hello! I’m Jess Solomon, and I’m an organizational development practitioner who works with progressive cultural and philanthropic organizations like [NAME?] and [NAME?]. I design and facilitate offsite experiences and high-stakes meetings to engage changemakers in deep, creative, and strategic work while building relationships and culture. My approach is all about harnessing imagination to bring new practices, structures and systems into being. I’d love to learn more about you!
Hello and Happy New Year's. I am going to start 2025 by being brave and vulnerable and am willing to share my elevator pitch. Here goes...
Hello! My name is Deane Bowers and I am the organizer and leader of the fresh stART art project, a creative collaboration made by over 30 female participants from around the country. Together from afar, we created one large body of artwork (measuring 48" x 60") as a way to celebrate fresh starts and new beginnings as well as to honor the courage it takes to begin again. We want to use our own stories of recovery, told through our individual contributions to inspire others, especially those who are at crossroad. In searching for appropriate places to exhibit this artwork, we want to identify those organizations that provide services and resources to those in transition. The 31 of us are survivors, yet know how lonely it can be to begin again. This artwork is our creative way to support others, especially those who feel invisible. Second chances can be one of life's biggest challenges yet greatest gifts.
We would love to know if your organization would be a good fit?
Hi Deane! Love seeing you here! Maybe instead of "measuring 48" x 60" you say "as big as an X." I feel like I am so bad at imagining #s like that and maybe others are too? Recovery and transition are such catch-all words. Can you get more specific? Or provide a few examples. Mind the power of 3s - maybe you could mention three contributors, where they're from, and what they've recovered from?
Hi Courtney-I had time to do a quick edit on my elevator pitch based on your feedback. It is far from being perfect or the exact pitch, but it is a start.
Hello! My name is Deane Bowers and I am the organizer and leader of the fresh stART art project, an artistic collaboration made by over 30 female participants (ages 22-80) from around the country. Together from afar, we constructed one large body of art (big as a full screen TV) as a way to celebrate fresh starts and new beginnings as well as to honor the courage it takes to begin again. We want to use our own stories of overcoming the various shit storms life dealt each of us, visually captured in our individual artistic compositions to inspire others, especially those who are at a crossroad. For Shannon, from the East Coast it was being left by her husband two days before Christmas. For Holly, from Western North Carolina it was finding a way forward after the sudden and unexpected loss of her brother. For Lynn, originally from Chicago it was relocating to a mountain town to find a simpler lifestyle after years of mental chaos. Each of us has had our lives unexpectedly upended by health, financial, familial, mental health or abuse which necessitated starting over again. The 31 of us found our own strength and purpose to start over and we hope viewers will find something familiar in our stories. Maybe seeing proof that hardships can be overcome is exactly the hope someone needs to move forward. We know how lonely and scary it can be to start over. This art composition is our creative way to support others, especially those who might feel powerless and stuck. Second chances can be one of life's biggest challenges, yet greatest gifts.
We would like to know if your organization might be a good fit for exhibiting this piece?
Hi Courtney, Thank you so much for your feedback. I think it is spot on. I will work on my edits in the next day or two. My problem is I tend to be wordy and write too much, give too much information and lose the reader. In my elevator pitch, I was trying to be short and to the point. I love the suggestion of the power of 3's and would love to add that information-my fear is the elevator pitch will get too long. I will try for a sentence per contributor mention. Can you help me find a term or phrase to use instead of recovery and transition? The 31 of us started over because life sucked and dealt many of us bad luck, bad husbands, bad health, bad parents and bad bosses. We started over because we were either at rock bottom and had to in order to survive or we began again because we finally said enough and stepped into our own power!
And I am always in on anything you are offering help for. You are one amazing, talented person and I value your wisdom, insight and outlook very much! ❤️
Hi, Happy New Year and thank you for this feedback opportunity!
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m the CEO & Co-Founder of Birth Center Equity. We are a team of birth center founders, owners, midwives, business and public health strategists who invest in Black, Indigenous, people of color-led birth centers to increase access to midwifery care and improve maternal-infant health in our communities. Would love to learn more about you!
So happy to see you here, Leseliey! This is so excellent. If it's possible, I would maybe condense the list of who is on your team. (ex. Since "birth center" is in here 3x, something like, "birth experts, entrepreneurs, and business and public health strategists"?)
Yes, thank you!
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m the CEO & Co-Founder of Birth Center Equity. We are a team birth experts, entrepreneurs, and business and public health strategists who invest in Black, Indigenous, people of color-led birth centers to increase access to midwifery care and improve maternal-infant health in our communities. Would love to learn more about you!
@Vanessa, I’m also wondering if I could have some feedback on the one I wrote for myself as a writer? Sharing it below. I’m wondering how best to say who I’ve been coached by (below I put “worked with”) and also if you think my goal should be a combined elevator pitch - or do I keep two separate ones for different networks?
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m a dreamer, poet and writer who has worked with adrienne maree brown, Autumn Brown and Lisa Weinert. I speak and write the unspoken to inspire us all to embody the freedom and courage necessary to create the futures we dream of. Would love to learn more about you!
This is beautiful! "The unspoken," wow. I think you could have a combined one for the audience who you'd want to prioritize your organization work for. It adds something more about YOU and your passions which I love. Maybe something like:
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m the CEO & Co-Founder of Birth Center Equity. We are a team birth experts, entrepreneurs, and business and public health strategists who invest in Black, Indigenous, people of color-led birth centers to increase access to midwifery care and improve maternal-infant health in our communities. I’m also poet and writer who has worked with adrienne maree brown, Autumn Brown and Lisa Weinert. Would love to learn more about you!
And I would get more specific in this version if your audience is an editor or similar gatekeeper where you want to focus on your writing:
Hello! My name is Leseliey and I’m an entrepreneur, poet, and writer who has worked with adrienne maree brown, Autumn Brown and Lisa Weinert on [name specific issue(s) you write about? birthing, motherhood, etc.]. I speak and write the unspoken to inspire us all to embody the freedom and courage necessary to create the futures we dream of.
This is super helpful, Vanessa - thank you! LRW
Gulp….love the assignment, taking the leap to share my draft. Eager for input! 🙏
Two attempts….
Hello! My name is Abby Falik and I’m the Co-founder/CEO of The Flight School. We help emerging leaders break free from conventional paths to discover where their authentic gifts align with the world’s greatest needs.
Hello! My name is Abby Falik and I’m a founder creating new models to unlock human potential and flourishing. Through my ventures, writing and speaking, I help people move from doing what’s expected to doing what matters – for themselves, and the future we know is possible.
Love it, Abby! I would consider changing the term "emerging leaders" (more appropriate on a website than in an email exchange!) to something with more specificity -- high school graduates? Young adults? And is there a way to add a little more specificity to the second part of the sentence too, "ex. ..break free from conventional academic and career paths"?
I would ask for more specificity in the second version too - it's beautifully written but seems vague. New models in what, exactly? Who are the people you help? Could you name some institutions you work with?
Hi Abby! I've been following you on LinkedIn for a while and love what you have to share. You're so impressive-- don't be afraid to toot your own horn a bit more!
Wow, Kris. Thank you for this nudge — just what I needed!! 🙏✨
Hello! My name is Tulika Verma and I’m a nonprofit leadership consultant who has worked with Teach For India in a senior leadership role and in a consulting capacity with Navgurukul, The Circle, Foster and Forge Foundation. I consult on leadership development, organization design, program design, community building and organizational strategy so that nonprofits can create sustained, meaningful impact in a values-driven, people-first way. Would love to learn more about you!
Love it, Tulika. I certainly have more questions for you, which is the whole point! I would do a scan for jargon here -- senior leadership, consulting capacity, organizational design etc. Are there more direct, concrete ways to say any of these things - eg. "I help organizations figure out how to get their staff collaborating joyfully and efficiently so they can make the biggest impact on education possible." I also wonder about the use of "values-driven"--it strikes me as meaning everything and nothing. What do you think?
Thank you for doing this! Here is my first attempt:
"Hello! My name is Krista and I’m an artist and designer who specializes in creating vintage-inspired hand painted floral art, accessories, and textile designs. I translate the colors and forms found in nature into vibrant, eye-catching paintings to inspire joy. One of my favorite parts of painting flowers is helping others capture special memories through my bespoke paintings of meaningful blooms like wedding bouquets, anniversary flowers, and birth month flowers. I would love to hear about you!"
I love this, Krista! Concise and so clear. Are there any names you could mention in this, whether it be a special collection you created or a gallery you were featured in? I would also change "others" to "clients" or another more specific word to signal more clearly that you create custom paintings for customers.
Thank you so much for the feedback! I can add a couple galleries and I absolutely agree that "clients" sounds way better than "others"!
Hopefully better late than never . . .
Hello! My name is Kris Farren Moss and I'm the author of Your Guide to Ritual Design: Redefine Your Day, Transform Your Life. Through my writing and coaching, I help people harness the transformative power of ritual to create more meaningful, purposeful lives. Drawing on both ancient wisdom and modern behavioral science, I guide others in designing a personal ritual practice that brings structure, intention, and deep connection to their everyday experiences. I'd love to learn more about you!
Wow, Kris, your work sounds so fascinating! This looks great. I would maybe cut "transformative" since "transform" is in your book title and it will make the sentence seem a little less formal. (Since it's an email intro and not an official bio, if that makes sense.)
Catching up!
Hi, I’m Amy Halloran, writer and baker. I’m curious how food connects us, and how the past impacts our choices. My book The New Bread Basket profiled people working with grains, and I’m working on a book about the twinned histories of modern American bread and women, both of which came of age in the early twentieth century.
Hi! I’m behind but here goes:
Hello! I’m Ashlea Sommer and I’m a strategist and facilitator who has worked with Starbucks, Mars-Wrigley, and lululemon. I support leaders and teams to navigate complex decisions together so that they feel more purpose in their work and make more considered choices for their stakeholders.
Ashlea, this is great -- so clear and concise. Although I wonder if you have a word you could add / share what kind of strategist/facilitator you are from the outset? The second sentence shares the kind of work you do, but I think a more specific title would draw people in sooner. You could even create/use a nonconventional title. (I could call myself a storytelling strategist instead of a communications strategist, for example.)
Thanks for the push, Vanessa! Better?
Hello! My name is Ashlea Sommer and I’m a purpose-led corporate strategist and executive facilitator who has worked with Starbucks, lululemon, and Mars-Wrigley. I support leaders and teams to navigate complex challenges together so that they make decisions beyond profit, and consider all of their stakeholders. Tell me about you!
Hi Courtney and Vanessa! Thank you for this challenge, it's so good to do this - but scary too.
Hello! My name is Kerrin and I am a Sustainability Specialist that works with NYC public schools and families to bring sustainability programs and composting to their everyday life. I focus on aligning values with everyday habits – so that climate actions are aligned with daily habits. Tell me about you!
I love this pitch, Kerrin! So direct and love this: "aligning values with everyday habits." Makes me want to know more. Although I wonder if the first "everyday" mention could be a different word (to avoid repetition). Same for the "daily habits" note at the end. Maybe something like:
Hello! My name is Kerrin and I am a Sustainability Specialist that works with NYC public schools and families to bring sustainability programs and composting into their daily lives. I focus on aligning values with everyday habits – turning climate actions into meaningful routines. Tell me about you!
Thank you - I love that, thank you.
Hello everyone, here we go:
Hi there! I’m Annie Sanchez and I’m an advisor and unconventional coach who helps leaders, entrepreneurs and philanthropists solve problems in their lives and businesses. I work with highly sensitive, introverted and often underestimated people so that the kids in our lives will have models for what gentle, powerful leadership can be. I would love to talk and learn about you!
As an introvert this is so refreshing to read!! So clear and concise, it's great and I really want to know more. I wonder if there's something specific you could add to "solve problems" - considering the uniqueness of your clientele, is there a word or two of the kinds of problems that you help with them? Or too broad to specify?
Gonna try again though, would love your feedback:
Hi there! I’m Annie Sanchez and I’m an advisor and unconventional coach who helps leaders, entrepreneurs and philanthropists solve complex problems in their lives and businesses. I work with highly sensitive, introverted and often underestimated people so that the kids in our lives will have models for what gentle, powerful leadership can be. I would love to talk and learn about you!
Thanks Vanessa, I appreciate that a lot. It’s hard to get specific and stay concise. I literally help people with everything from career changes to business development to grief and relationship issues. I’ve been told “Everyone needs an Annie in their life,” and have struggled to communicate what this means. 🙃
Hello! My name is Rachel Hills and I’m the president of Protagonistic, a feminist strategic communications agency. We work with nonprofits, culture makers, and businesses to help them sharpen their storytelling and amplify their work so that they can change the public conversation on the issues they work on. Would love to learn more about you!
Hi Rachel! Fun to see you here! I love this. I wonder about offering one concrete example - otherwise we're in jargon territory here. I want a picture in my head! What's one org you've worked with one one "amplification" (jargon!) that you are really proud of?
Thanks, Courtney! How's this - or too long?
"We've run award-winning social media campaigns for nonprofits, worked with women's rights leaders in Ukraine to share their stories in Foreign Policy, and helped independent filmmakers get interviewed on major podcasts."
The other thing I struggle with a lot - and I know that this is true of your work, too - is containing and communicating my multiplicities. Generally, these days, if I'm doing a quick self-intro in a personal or professional setting, I will focus on my agency work, and limit discussion of my writing and intellectual work to conversations with writers and media people. But obviously my media and intellectual experience is a big part of why my clients trust me, which is why I bring it up in my longer bio and client pitches.
Happy New Year, everyone, and thanks for this experience! Happy to be here. Here's my pitch: Hello! I'm Sarah Menkedick, and I'm a writer who has published two books about motherhood and written for Harper's, The New York Times, the Washington Post, the Guardian, Time, and many other publications. I am an Ohioan married to a Mexican, raising a Mexican American daughter between Pittsburgh and Oaxaca. My experiences living and traveling overseas for more than a decade have profoundly shaped my perspective on American life. I write about issues that may seem familiar – birth, education, immigration – from surprising international angles, examining how our deeply held beliefs and givens can perpetuate damaging systems, and how we might begin to imagine new ways of living. Would love to learn more about you! (I realize this is still unwieldy and wordy!!)
I love that you've incorporated your personal experience into this! I agree it could be shortened and would actually consider incorporating more of that personal language into your bio (today's assignment, stay tuned!) and website. Maybe for the pitch, something a bit shorter like:
Hello! I'm Sarah Menkedick, and I'm a writer who has published two books about motherhood and written for Harper's, The New York Times, the Washington Post, and many others. I write about issues that may seem familiar – birth, education, immigration – from surprising international angles, and drawing from my own personal experiences and travel. I love to examine how our deeply held beliefs can perpetuate damaging systems, and how we might begin to imagine new ways of living. Would love to learn more about you!
This is wonderful, Vanessa, thank you.
My name is Ginny Fahs and I’m the Director of Product R&D at Consumer Reports. CR is an independent non-profit known for testing and rating thousands of products, so that people can make informed choices about what to buy. The team I lead is charged with using the latest technologies to enhance CR’s mission, so that our 90-year-old organization keeps pace with a rapidly-evolving, tech-enabled marketplace. We’ve conceived, developed and launched an AI-powered chatbot called AskCR and a data privacy app called Permission Slip, as well as a panoply of R&D prototypes related to agentic AI and data privacy.
I'm interested in how to strike the right balance between mission/aspiration and concreteness.
The organization I work for has a big consumer protection mission: "fighting for fairness in the marketplace"
However I think that mission language is vague for most people. I tried to make it more concrete here, but in doing so I flattened a lot of what we do (so much more than product ratings & reviews!).
I worry that by making our work as a whole more concrete, other details that I mention here (eg our extensive data privacy work) seem random?
Curious to hear how others thought about // navigated this
I love knowing more about your aim here, Ginny. My first impression is "Wow, you are doing such cool things and I know exactly what kind of resource your organization is..." but I'm not sure what YOUR superpower is. What do you love about this work? Why does it hit your sweet spot? I would be hungry to know even a tad more about YOU, Ginny, in the midst of this amazing work.
Also my dad was obsessed with CR, so this strikes a sweet nostalgic tone for me. I liked seeing how you are modernizing such a trusted brand.
Appreciate this feedback, thank you Courtney! Here's a revised version:
Hello! My name is Ginny Fahs and I’m the Director of Product R&D at Consumer Reports. CR is an independent non-profit known for testing and rating thousands of products. The team I lead is charged with using the latest technologies to enhance CR’s mission of informed choice, so that our 90-year-old organization keeps pace with a rapidly-evolving, tech-enabled marketplace. I love bringing new things to life that challenge power imbalances and restore power to the underdog. At CR, I’ve conceived, developed and launched a data privacy app called Permission Slip that helps people control the data companies have about them, and a chatbot called AskCR that answers questions people have about products using only CR’s trusted information.
5-4-3-2-1 POST!
Hello! My name is Valerie and I am a children's book author/illustrator striving to tell stories that resonate with laughter, wonder, and imagination. Just as every child has a unique story, my illustrations reflect the diverse experiences we all share. I Would love to learn more about you!
Grr forgot to post. Thank so much for inviting us to do this.
Hello! My name is Priscilla Martel and I am a chef and food consultant who writes the best-selling textbooks, On Cooking and On Baking for Pearson. I help businesses such as Emile Henry, Tuscan Women Cook and the Almond Board of California, brand agencies and home cooks tell engaging stories through food and recipes. I help others become bold and curious in the kitchen to build confidence and enrich their lives.
Is this intriguing? Do you think I'm simply a recipe developer? Because I am that and much more, too complex to convey in a small bite. Perhaps I should end with a question?
Totally intriguing!! It seems clear to me you're so much more than a recipe developer. Although I wonder if your initial title (chef and food consultant) doesn't reflect the full breadth of your work communicated in the following sentences. Could you think of a term that might draw people in more? (Food storyteller or something with a bit more flair?) Love the name dropping too, but I would make that list just 3 examples. And the last sentence (while beautiful!) could be tweaked (you said, "I help" twice) or integrate it into another sentence. Hope this helps!
Thanks so much. A term to draw people in with is excellent advice. I like food storyteller but I actually have a term I've used, which may be a bit slick but I'll use it for now if only as a placeholder. Reading the contributions and your comments inspires me but also makes the task more daunting. I'd like to add something personal here but then it's a mouthful. (I remember the frozen look on a couple of women on whom I once tested an elevator speech.)
Hello! My name is Priscilla Martel. I am a flavor maven who inspires others to become bold and curious in the kitchen. I collaborate with California Almonds, Tuscan Women Cook and other businesses to tell engaging stories through food and recipes. I love my role as culinary mentor to students who use On Cooking and On Baking, the textbooks that I write for Pearson.
I'm so grateful for this space to practice! Here goes: Hello! I’m Jess Solomon, and I’m an organizational development practitioner partnering with progressive, forward-thinking cultural and philanthropic organizations. I design and facilitate offsite experiences and high-stakes meetings, and coach changemakers to engage in deep, creative, and strategic work while building relationships and culture. By harnessing imagination, I help groups bring new practices, structures and systems into being. I’d love to learn more about you!
Your work sounds fantastic! I really started to lean in at "design off site experiences and high stake meetings" - it's specific and interesting and makes me want to know more.
My only feedback is that it language is a little formal. Remember, this would be in an email or even at a work event. Maybe condense a bit? I also think name dropping one or two of orgs you've worked with would be great. Maybe something like:
Hello! I’m Jess Solomon, and I’m an organizational development practitioner who works with progressive cultural and philanthropic organizations like [NAME?] and [NAME?]. I design and facilitate offsite experiences and high-stakes meetings to engage changemakers in deep, creative, and strategic work while building relationships and culture. My approach is all about harnessing imagination to bring new practices, structures and systems into being. I’d love to learn more about you!
Super helpful, thank you for this feedback.
Hello and Happy New Year's. I am going to start 2025 by being brave and vulnerable and am willing to share my elevator pitch. Here goes...
Hello! My name is Deane Bowers and I am the organizer and leader of the fresh stART art project, a creative collaboration made by over 30 female participants from around the country. Together from afar, we created one large body of artwork (measuring 48" x 60") as a way to celebrate fresh starts and new beginnings as well as to honor the courage it takes to begin again. We want to use our own stories of recovery, told through our individual contributions to inspire others, especially those who are at crossroad. In searching for appropriate places to exhibit this artwork, we want to identify those organizations that provide services and resources to those in transition. The 31 of us are survivors, yet know how lonely it can be to begin again. This artwork is our creative way to support others, especially those who feel invisible. Second chances can be one of life's biggest challenges yet greatest gifts.
We would love to know if your organization would be a good fit?
Fondly,
Deane Bowers
Hi Deane! Love seeing you here! Maybe instead of "measuring 48" x 60" you say "as big as an X." I feel like I am so bad at imagining #s like that and maybe others are too? Recovery and transition are such catch-all words. Can you get more specific? Or provide a few examples. Mind the power of 3s - maybe you could mention three contributors, where they're from, and what they've recovered from?
Hi Courtney-I had time to do a quick edit on my elevator pitch based on your feedback. It is far from being perfect or the exact pitch, but it is a start.
Hello! My name is Deane Bowers and I am the organizer and leader of the fresh stART art project, an artistic collaboration made by over 30 female participants (ages 22-80) from around the country. Together from afar, we constructed one large body of art (big as a full screen TV) as a way to celebrate fresh starts and new beginnings as well as to honor the courage it takes to begin again. We want to use our own stories of overcoming the various shit storms life dealt each of us, visually captured in our individual artistic compositions to inspire others, especially those who are at a crossroad. For Shannon, from the East Coast it was being left by her husband two days before Christmas. For Holly, from Western North Carolina it was finding a way forward after the sudden and unexpected loss of her brother. For Lynn, originally from Chicago it was relocating to a mountain town to find a simpler lifestyle after years of mental chaos. Each of us has had our lives unexpectedly upended by health, financial, familial, mental health or abuse which necessitated starting over again. The 31 of us found our own strength and purpose to start over and we hope viewers will find something familiar in our stories. Maybe seeing proof that hardships can be overcome is exactly the hope someone needs to move forward. We know how lonely and scary it can be to start over. This art composition is our creative way to support others, especially those who might feel powerless and stuck. Second chances can be one of life's biggest challenges, yet greatest gifts.
We would like to know if your organization might be a good fit for exhibiting this piece?
Hi Courtney, Thank you so much for your feedback. I think it is spot on. I will work on my edits in the next day or two. My problem is I tend to be wordy and write too much, give too much information and lose the reader. In my elevator pitch, I was trying to be short and to the point. I love the suggestion of the power of 3's and would love to add that information-my fear is the elevator pitch will get too long. I will try for a sentence per contributor mention. Can you help me find a term or phrase to use instead of recovery and transition? The 31 of us started over because life sucked and dealt many of us bad luck, bad husbands, bad health, bad parents and bad bosses. We started over because we were either at rock bottom and had to in order to survive or we began again because we finally said enough and stepped into our own power!
And I am always in on anything you are offering help for. You are one amazing, talented person and I value your wisdom, insight and outlook very much! ❤️